The surreal fate of Mr. Scott.

I know there have been many Earth-shattering events that have occupied our attention this past week. Certainly there have been more than enough to warrant me playing the hermit for the better part of the last few days. However, one of the things which may have escaped your notice is the strange fate of Jimmy Doohan.

Jimmy Doohan better know as ‘Scotty’ from Star Trek TOS (geek alert) was in the news this past week. It’s amazing how some people can make it into the news even after they’ve passed away:

The UP Aerospace payload included samples of cremated remains from more than 200 people, including James Doohan, who played the role of Chief Engineer Montgomery “Scotty” Scott in the original “Star Trek” series as well as a series of spin-off movies. Doohan died in 2005 at the age of 85.

What the internet brings us.

It brings people the ability to sit in a room somewhere, attached to their computer like it was a morphine drip and spend innumerable hours hurling invectives back and forth at one and other. The surprising thing is we don’t hear of people being shot, maimed or murdered on a daily basis because of something that sprung from an argument conducted on a message board.

Someone was recently telling me a story about a woman who had her own website and was so taken aback by the comments threatening violence to herself and her family she shut the site down and contacted the police who (rightfully so) took the matter quite seriously. At the other end of the spectrum is the current War of the Words raging between Gary Groth and Harlan Ellison (and their various acolytes) over at the Beat.

There is that clichéd image of how nasty and gossipy teen age girls can be but in this case it seems like there is a lot of testosterone in the thread basically with much the same result. This is one of those moments I am so very glad not to have an interest in the winner.

MCCCIII

That‘s right I’ve made it past the thirteen hundred mark for posts and seeing as how a bunch of posts are quite wordy that’s something indeed (although I can’t help but wonder if I hadn’t written a single page of a continuing story for each of those posts I would have quite the novel).

In any event, a few posts back I was talking about how there were a couple of things that threw me last week and I‘d be lying if I backpedaled and said they didn’t but, I also noticed I neglected to mention something else that happened recently - something surprising and cool (leastways by me that is).

I was perusing one of the threads in a Flickr group I belong to, specifically Guess Where NYC. A bunch of the people who belong to the group had gotten together an easily blown away the competition in the first annual Panorama Challenge. Although I missed the event (which I’m sorry about but, which is kind of par for the course with me), one of the things mentioned in the discussion post-event was the fact the city apparently licenses people to be Sightseeing Guides.

A person must have a Sightseeing Guide license to guide or direct people to any place or point of public interest. Note: Licensees are required to comply with all relevant laws and rules, including the Consumer Protection Law. For a copy of the actual law regarding this category, call 311 or come in person to the DCA Licensing Center in Manhattan at the address above.

I was a bit amazed at that even though it made a certain level of sense. Still, one of the posters in the thread commented on having taken the test and gotten licensed.

I took the test and it wasn’t too hard. I did no studying, just walked in and took the test. But it did take 3 hours to finish. (The room I was in is used for all license tests, the electricians and plumbers took less than 30 minutes, the sightseeing license testers took 2+ hours.) They sat me down with this humongous binder of questions. Some of the questions were long and rambling, sometimes up to a page. But the good thing is some of the questions lead you to the answer. The hardest thing about the test was the bureaucracy; waiting on line, filling out forms, very painful.

You should take it. You have nothing to lose.

Well for whatever reason, something about the whole taking a test thing tweaked something in me. There have been a couple of times over the past few years where friends have had people come up to visit the city and have asked me if I would show them around and I’ve found it quite enjoyable because it gives me a chance to show off the city and embrace my inner geek. Also, I get the chance to go and check out some things I had been wanting to check out myself.

So, I took the test.

I had to drop off my car for work someplace a few weeks back and spent the day in the city and made it a point to get all my paperwork filled out and to make my way down to where they give these tests. The bureaucracy part of it wasn‘t altogether that bad, the people were pretty nice to me (it’s amazing how just having a modicum of manners will get you very far in any setting where people’s jobs are dealing with the public all day).I just went in with all my forms filled out and my checks and everything so there wasn’t a lot they had to have me do. It only became a matter of sitting for the test.

Now, given the comments in the Guess Where NYC thread I really though the thing was going to be a cakewalk. I don’t know why but I glossed over the part where the guy said it took him three hours and there were 150 questions. When I finally got into the exam room there was another person taking the test in there and she didn’t look all too happy to say the least. I got the impression she had been in there for quite some time and when she did finish she managed to just squeak by and pass with 101 right out of 150 (97 is passing).

So, I sat down and took this thing.

And it was a bitch! I mean, I don’t know what I was expecting but it covered a lot of ground with topics ranging from Museums to Ethnic Cuisines to History to Commercial Traffic laws! There came a point where I realized, for whatever reason, I was taking this thing on a lark - pass or fail I shouldn’t get stressed about it.

So, 150 questions and I haven’t studied for the thing and I went through it and answered everything in the first pass. I figured what the hell, let me just get it over with. If I fail, I fail. I can always take it one more time without paying and I can study for it the next time with a better idea of what the test is about anyway.

I finished it in just under two hours (maybe an hour and fifty minutes), you can do that when you wiz through something without worrying about consequences. I read the questions and gave each answer my best shot.

And I passed!

I didn’t get 90% or anything, but I did manage to get 111 out of 150 right (74%) and as the years pass I come to realize it’s not about being perfect every time out but managing to finish things. So, I finished it!

And now I am licensed as a Sightseeing Guide for the City of New York!

It’s not like I plan to go into the sightseeing business or anything as much as I did it for the bragging rights but, if you need someone to show you the city on a visit, well you know whom to call.

ACT NOW!

Yesterday was free comic book day and if you missed it, you should take the time out to point your browser over to the Twomorrows website where for the rest of the day they are offering people the ability to download complete issues of a couple of their fine magazines for free!

This weekend only, you can download FREE PDF COMPLETE ISSUES of the following mags, just by logging in and putting them in your shopping cart:

• Alter Ego #65


• Back Issue #21


• Jack Kirby Collector #47


• Write Now #14


• Draw #12


• Rough Stuff #3

My new robot.

So, I am really bad about washing the floors. It’s something I should do every week but I don’t. I procrastinate about it. Mainly because washing the floors is always such a big ordeal, I wind up getting three buckets (one soapy water, one empty and one clean water) just to really give the floor a good scrub instead of just moving the dirt around.

Like I said though, once it’s done it looks great I just don’t do it as much as I should or would like to.

So, I was looking around the other day and I saw this device and decided to plunk down the money and juts get the damn thing and see if it was worth it. Right now I am sitting at the computer while the thing does a pretty decent job giving the floor a good once over. It’s a bit noisy but, I have to admit to being really fascinated watching it make its way back and forth over the floor and circling around making sure the floor gets clean. I am reminded of those small jobbies from Silent Running.


image from the Cult TV Man site (cool site, check it out!).

Incredible new software?

I’ve got this incredible new software that shows how a person will look as they age.

Check it out! I took a picture of Steve Buscemi:

...and aged him to see what he would like like as an old man:


Reminds me of Separated at Birth (really the top photo is Steve Buscemi and the bottom Gollum from Lord of the Rings).

Things to look at.

I ordered a bunch of books last month and they have remained stacked off to the side as other things have occupied my attention these last few weeks. Today, I took the shrink wrap off of one and just thumbed through it for a moment or two before putting up on the shelf with the thought being to come back, sit and savor the thing one rainy afternoon.


Well, that was my original intent anyway after flipping through a few of the pages I am not sure if I can wait for that rainy day, the thing is just that beautiful to look at. I’m talking about DC’s Absolute edition of the Long Halloween. If you haven’t read the Long Halloween before now, don’t spend money on getting back issues or trade paperbacks, this is one of those things where an Absolute Edition really does make it all the more spectacular and even if you have read the thing, you should really check out the Absolute Edition because looking at the artwork large size on good paper is really phenomenal!

TGIF?

This past week was one of those weeks. Not a horrible week, just one of those weeks (and really since it’s Friday and not truly over, I am thinking I had better watch my P’s and Q’s). It started with getting one of those notices about property tax from the mortgage company and ended with finding out the car would need work on it with a number that had the mechanic telling me I could go on an installment plan.

I’m not happy about it.

Certainly, it skews my plans a bit but, giving the scheme of things and the last few years I am blessed with a bit of perspective.

See, it could be worse.

The thing I always seem to be reminding myself of these days is no matter how much life may not fit into whatever picture perfect setting I would like, it could be a lot worse.

The car needs work and it’s going to cost money? Well, at least I have a car and at least I am able to cover it even if I have to go into a hole a little to pay it.

Property tax bill comes in? Well, at least I can say I ‘own’ something that they can even tax me on.

I am trying not to freak out these days when things seem bad because freaking out in the end doesn’t really do you much good. Neither does getting upset or dwelling on something and being negative about it. Yes, if I get knocked down, it’s becoming more a matter of just picking myself up and brushing the dust off of me and then continuing to move forward in the process doing the work necessary to deal with the situation at hand.

The key is to stay focused on a goal and to keep moving forward - some days I make little progress and some days there are tremendous breakthroughs and as long as I remind myself of that and keep working to move ahead, things will be fine.

The best thing about this time of year.

Besides the glorious weather (which we are finally starting to get) is the fact that the sun’s angle during these months changes and the whole front of the house fills with the most glorious sunlight all through the afternoon. Maybe a negative on really hot days but, after so many months of winter it is a tonic to the soul!

Counter programming.

So, I got to thinking the other day I want to be in the business end of television. My first thought was to go to network’s and counter program pitching shows loosely based around already popular franchises. To that end, my first pitch is a new show about a morbidly obese psychic. I call the show - Large.

A constant companion.

I never ceased to be amazed at the benefits I derive from sharing my home with the little, furry beast. As I write this, I am sitting in my office chair in a slouched position as she lies atop me with her head resting on my shoulder. Perfectly comfortable and at peace, she actually snores (or at least the cat equivalent of snoring). When I wake up in the morning she is lying atop me and as soon as I get up for the day she meows a good morning and begins to purr very loudly. I wonder what I could have done to elicit such a joyous celebration on her part but, it never fails to start my day off on the right foot. Sure she spends a great part of the day sleeping but, there are also these times when she is just ‘around,’ in the room or somewhere close by lurking about and making it apparent she likes my company. The funny thing is how some days that’s all you need for it to be a good day.

When photo ops bite you in the ass.

The great thing about the TV age, allowing for the short attention span we as a country have, is when something is news - they cover it up the Wa-Zoo with tons of ink and video devoted to a particular topic.

So it is with the great photo op of four years past when our chief executive looking smart in his flight suit landed on an aircraft carrier and looking very ‘presidential’ announced to the nation ‘Mission Accomplished!’ Four years later there is no stronger indictment of the failed policies of the current administration than having the President’s own words come back to haunt him on the day when he is locked in a battle with Congress over continued funding of the very war over which he declared a resounding victory.

Bush has promised to use his veto power to block any bill containing a schedule for troop pullout, and has urged lawmakers to pass the current proposal to him promptly so work can begin on a new version.

Bush on Monday reiterated his determination, saying the measure would only tie the hands of those running the war on the ground.

“I am about to veto a bill that has got artificial timetables for withdrawal. But that's not the only bad thing about the bill,” he told reporters.

Seems to me if the Mission was Accomplished like the man proclaimed, there are no grounds for his vetoing this bill now is there?

Flip side to this, is I think we should listen to the counsel of the commanders and troops currently serving in Iraq but, I really hate the self-serving kind of media events like the one that took place four years back.

A new Euclidean principle.

Euclid is reknowned for setting forth some of the basic tenets of mathematics in the classical work Elements. However, I have just recently discovered a new Euclidean principle and want desperately to share it with the world.


I was a bit perplexed originally because I had thought what I was witnessing was a form of Chaos Theory but I have since revised my original opinion.

Consequently, I explain to you the principles of what I have termed A-Rod math:

When Baseball’s most talented and expensive player does well (hits, scores runs and fields well) his team loses.

Inversely, when his team does nothing but win, win, win Baseball’s most talented player stinks up the joint.

If Salvador Dali had a hand in designing our roads.

They’d more than likely look like this:

The big f*ck of the day.

So, I track stocks. I’m not obsessive about it but I try to keep watch for the kinds of things I think will provide a lot of growth potential. I’ve been pretty lucky in that I managed to get a few things at the right time following my instincts. Earlier this year I was tracking a stock on a foreign exchange. My broker doesn’t trade foreign exchanges so it was a bit of a problem as I couldn’t find a way to invest without opening an account somewhere else. Well, this stock which I thought was a little pricey at $82 a share (back in January) closed on the 23rd at $1,180 a share!

DAMN!

Mantra?

iChat because iAm?

I can understand the sentiment.

I know what is trying to be accomplished by Congress in the debate over military appropriations currently taking place on Capitol Hill. On one level, it certainly makes sense to examine the direction foreign policy has taken and the use of the military in particular in regard to overseas activity. That we need to have a debate about what is currently happening in Iraq is something we unquestionably need to do as a nation. Entreaties to ‘stay the course’ aside, we should always examine our motives and decisions for actions on the world stage. It’s a good thing.

Personally, I’m getting to the point where I grow weary of hearing comparisons made to Vietnam. However, since we have this brand, spanking new government in Iraq, duly elected by its citizens - I think we are at the point where one of the things we need to put up as part of the referendum before the Iraq electorate is whether they even want us there. Instead of drawing us in ever deeply into a quagmire, we should put it out there before the Iraqi people and make it apparent to them we do not want to stay in there country even one day longer than our help is desired. I think it would be a good thing for the people of both our nations (even if the idea might sound a bit simplistic to some).

It would illustrate our nation has no ulterior motives or designs upon Iraq, putting to rest the biggest objection to our presence there. It would make it clear to the rest of the Arab world we stand behind the ideals we purport to be advocates of. I would think it’s a win-win situation both overseas and here at home. Most of the opposition here in this country is about wasting lives but, are we really wasting lives if people ask us for help?

In the meantime, although Congress may have its heart in the right place, I can see how in some quarters their actions in holding up funding for the troops can be viewed as a betrayal and I would advise Congress to step lightly as this is a very sensitive area. Not only does it affect the health and well-being of people who have sacrificed much in defense of the tenets of liberty but, it could cause the families and loved ones who are praying for them to return great consternation because they find their loved ones are not receiving all the support and protection we as a nation should be offering to them.



I was reminded of this by an email I got from my friend Bill this morning (who has family serving currently). Just a few of the images, which while they were funny underscored there is another way of looking at the battle between Congress and the President and in the end the people who may wind up paying the cost of that battle are the very same people both sides fervently claim to support.

MR. LUTHOR!

“We will have to be careful with it — we wouldn’t want to deprive Earth of its most famous superhero!,” said Dr Chris Stanley, a mineralogist at the Natural History Museum.

Stanley, who revealed the identity of the mysterious new mineral, discovered the match after searching the Internet for its chemical formula - sodium lithium boron silicate hydroxide.

“I was amazed to discover that same scientific name written on a case of rock containing kryptonite stolen by Lex Luther from a museum in the film Superman Returns,” he said.

Aside from the horrid misspelling of Lex’s name, one of those cutesy stories about the discovery of actual kryptonite? That’s not the only typo by the by, I leave it to you to find the second one.

A white knuckle ride.

I have to throw this out there even though I am loathe to make this kind of comment, I just can’t remain silent and I’m really curious about what others think.

Re - Joe Torre: Am I the only person getting the impression that Joe Torre could indeed be fired? There’s been all this turmoil in Yankeeland with Steve Swindal being removed as the heir apparent. Torre’s decision-making process seems terribly askew. Let’s see, we have Andy Pettitte coming in in relief? Twice? In one weekend? Mariano Rivera coming into a game in the eighth inning? If the Yankee bullpen is so weak, why? You‘ve got Colter Bean, Brian Bruney, Kyle Farnsworth, Sean Henn, Jeff Karstens, Mike Myers, Scott Proctor, Luis Vizcaíno if it has come to the point where Joe Torre doesn’t trust his bullpen and need to bring in Andy Pettitte for relief or bring Mariano in early what does that imply for the rest of the season? I understand Hideki Matsui, Chien-Ming Wang, Jeff Karstens, Carl Pavano, Mike Mussina have all been on the disabled list early in the season but, we are still talking about a team with A-Rod, Jeter, Damon, Abreu, Cano, Giambi and Posada on it. That’s 7 out of 9 spots in the batting order, if you’re a Yankee fan you’ve got to be scratching your head and you’ve got to be worried.

What you’ll notice.

If you visit on a somewhat regular basis is that the list of links in the sidebar will continue to grow until it winds up filling out the sidebar. I use the blog sidebar as a form of a traveling bookmark in that I can go to it from wherever I am and surf over to the sites I like checking out without having to go searching or loading my own bookmarks into a public machine. I’ll just keep piling on until the thing is filled up at which time I’ll go through and sort them to some semblance of order. In the meantime, I would advise checking out some of the links because there is some really cool stuff there indeed!